How's work going?
/You will no doubt get asked this many times over the festive period.
Being ‘fine’ might be true - but it's rarely the whole story. It might be the easiest answer but, are you being honest with yourself. Would you like to feel better about work and more in control?
Before I left my job, I was scared to tell people that I was considering it. I dreaded people asking me about work. I felt conflicted, didn't want to face the truth, let alone explain it to family or friends. I knew they would worry, as they care about me, plus they would be tempted to provide advice. I knew I needed to sort my own head out before I opened it up for discussion. It was only by giving myself time and space, that I resolved it.
The end of the year naturally encourages reflection.
This can be incredibly useful as it’s a time to review your successes and consider your goals for the coming year. I always encourage clients to think about what they want to achieve and why. If your goals are aligned to a greater purpose, you are more likely to follow through than if you pledge a plethora of micro behavioural changes.
For example, I had a client who was concerned she was working too many weekends. She had made pledges to her family before but each time she slid back into it.
She wanted to set the goal - ‘I will not work weekends.’
From exploring this, it was clear that it was an unrealistic goal, as she was only setting it in response to guilt and from the outset, she knew she couldn’t keep to it. She was setting herself up to fail.
Through our discussions, she looked into why this was important for her, her career as well as her family. We linked the goal to a meaningful purpose - and considered how else she could manage her workload other than working weekend. It changed into this:
‘ I will work from home one day every fortnight. This will enable me to manage my inbox without office distractions. If I work weekends, I will restrict it to one a month and only for 3 hours on Saturday morning (7am-10am). Any weekend that I work, will be logged in my diary and I will review monthly.
This meant, that even on weekends that she had to work, she wasn’t missing out on family time, she could take the kids to clubs and it gave her one whole day off before returning to work.
The purpose behind this change was:
‘I recognise I do not operate at my best at home or work, when I do not give myself down time to recuperate from the working week. It also endorses unhealthy work patterns to my team. By using my weekend for pleasure, it makes me happier at home, more resilient at work and is healthier for my mind and body.’
She was able to apply these changes as she had made it realistic, specific and given it a purpose. Furthermore, by tracking her work patterns, it made her conscious of her behaviour and accountable.
Whether working with a coach or on your own, when reflecting and planning goals for 2019 try the following 6 tips:
Be kind to yourself when reflecting on the previous year. You may not have achieved everything you had hoped to, but I bet you achieved some goals that weren't even on your list.
Acknowledge all your successes, including moments of courage.
Dig a bit deeper before you jump to making resolutions and ask yourself “why”?
Consider quarterly goals, rather than making annual goals - they are more manageable and trackable.
Make goals realistic, specific, time framed and linked to a meaningful purpose.
Don’t set more than 3 goals. It can be overwhelming and unsustainable.
Fortem can support you in achieving the 2019 you want by helping you to set meaningful goals, providing you with a reflective space to consider your priorities and holding you to account. Have a look at www.fortemcoaching.co.uk for more information on our 3 main coaching packages or to book a free coaching consultation.